Step right up folks! Welcome to the one, the only, “Water Bar,” where the only thing we’re serving every day is water. Good evening, ma’am – beautiful day to be at the Washington County Fair, is it not? Would you care to try a sample of one of our locally sourced waters today? This one here comes to you from a geologic formation deep below the city of Stillwater, known as the Prairie du Chien – Jordan aquifer. Yesiree, if you close your eyes when you sip, you can almost taste the pride of the man who drilled down 300 feet into the earth to harvest this thirst-quenching treat for you today.
Excuse me there sir! You’re looking awfully hot this afternoon. How about I pour you a flight of waters to help you cool off? I’ve got a delightful microbrew on tap that was specially crafted in the Jordan aquifer for the city of Oak Park Heights. You can compare it with the Mount Simon water from Forest Lake or this here well water from the Lake Elmo Park Reserve. The park water’s got a deep, rich iron flavor to it; I’m pretty sure you get stronger if you drink it often enough!
You know, a lot of folks nowadays are buying their water in plastic bottles, but as I like to say, “Why buy the cow when you can get the milk for free?” You might not realize it, but municipal drinking water is held to extremely rigorous standards by the U.S. Environmental Protection Agency and Minnesota Department of Health. This here water is a straight A student at the top of its class! They start with all-natural rainwater, straight from the sky, which is then filtered through layers of sand and rock over the course of hundreds of years. We are talking well, well aged here (no pun intended, though it did come from a well- did’ja get it?) Anyway, it’s a little known secret, but the water in those bottles is usually the same water I’m serving here today. That’s right – they just turn on the faucet, fill it up with municipal water and then sell it to you in a bottle!
Did you notice how cold and refreshing that water was? (Ok, you’re right, I’ve got it sitting on ice here.) But, if you’re ever over by the St. Croix River and see water bubbling out of the side of the bluff, dip your toes in and see how cold it is. I bet it’ll make you scream! You’ve probably heard people say that spring water’s the best stuff on earth. Well, a spring is just a place where groundwater comes up or out to the surface. We’re drinking the same stuff when we turn on the faucet at home, they just dug a well to get to it instead of waiting around for it to pop out on its own. Anyway, the ground acts like a natural refrigerator, keeping the water cold throughout the year. That’s why spring-fed lakes and streams have such cold water.
Yes indeed. We’ll have this here Water Bar open 10am-10pm every day of the County Fair (except, of course, on Sunday – we close at 8pm that day). You can stop on by and visit us in Building A, kitty-corner across from the milkshake stand. We’ll be serving water, water, and – you guessed it – water!